Sep 24, 2012

Amazon Illustrated: Giant Mutant Ants!

The Internet is a very strange place. Take a serious look around and you will find no shortage of flame wars, porn, rage comics, atrocious grammar, porn, advertising, porn, and forums and communities built around every bizzare topic imaginable.

But once in a while, people on the Internet come together just to have fun. And sometimes such a thing can grow a mind of its own and become bigger than any of the contributors... and it can be downright hilarious.

This is one of those times.

Allow me to present this tin of Uranium Ore available on Amazon.com for the low price of $49.95 USD! (Plus shipping.)

Yes, this is a REAL product.

Let's see what reviewers have to say about it, shall we?


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247 of 260 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Movies Lie
This review is from: Uranium Ore
Do not be fooled by this product. I bought this along with four terrapins and a rat (since I couldnt lay my hands on a warthog and a rhino). I rubbed this product into my skin and gums then rolled around with the terrapins and the rat.

Long story short I did NOT end up with my own crime-fighting mutant superhero team. The rat bit me and I crushed the terrapins. Also I now have a strange rash and Im coughing up blood, whats up with that?

Avoid.

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9,068 of 9,225 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Great Product, Poor Packaging
This review is from: Uranium Ore
I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

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2,924 of 3,047 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars
Ok for cleaning teeth, not so great for killing ants...
By Nero Goldstein "Bemused by a Muse" (The Great Nation of Texas) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Uranium Ore
Picked this up for use in one of my kid's 'diversity' projects in school (Great Success!), and stuck the leftovers in the cabinet next to the baking soda.

Ran out of toothpaste, and remembered how you're supposed to be able to use baking soda to clean your teeth, so of course, I accidentally used this instead, and Wow! all I can say is, my teeth have never been cleaner! They sparkle, they tingle, and for some reason, they STAY clean now, no matter what. Highly recommended!

However, when I ran out of that fire-ant killer powder stuff, I figured I would try some for that too.

Big mistake!

Boy, it sure did not kill those ants!


Fortunately, those suckers get slower as they get bigger, so I have been able to use a shovel to take care of most of them, one at a time though, the sneaky devils.

And the darn trash man refuses to take them away..

I would have given this product 5 stars for the teeth and the project on embracing diversity, but I deducted one star because of the giant mutant ants.

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I pulled out some of the best, but there are literally hundreds of these reviews. Want more? Here you go!

Funny and sarcastic reviews can be found all over Amazon.com. Do you have another example I should try illustrating? Link me up in the comments! If I use your suggestion, I'll link back to your blog or website in the post. =)

21 comments:

  1. um, LOVE! now i'm going to read all these hilarious reviews, why do the greatest things happen before midterms?

    jenniferrrrr ling

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are always more midterms! Maybe the question is just which midterms are coming up next. =P

      Delete
  2. This stuff is also known as cockroach food. Thanks for finding another internet gem! :D

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  3. That's excellent! I've never seen those. I'll be on the hunt for 'em now. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck, and please share them if you do!

      Delete
  4. The collective Internet mind can sure be hilarious! Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha. I really like the custom images people have added for the Uranium Ore also. Buying it immediately!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh, I didn't even SEE those! I should totally add my art to the collection. Thanks!

      Yeah, it was a tough decision for me... I rather liked the idea of having a tin on my own shelf mwahaha. But in the end this student just doesn't have $50 to blow on radioactive decor LOL.

      Delete
  6. Ha, I love Amazon reviews. Even simple things like pens have hundreds of silly reviews!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You mean those BIC pens labelled "For Her"? Haha yeah, exactly!

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  7. The halflife joke made me laugh. Gold.

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  8. Your art is gorgeous.
    Yay I'm so happy you're posting again!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have so many Amazon gift cards I need to redeem, and suddenly I know what I want to buy. Well, maybe. I can't decide between this and the canned unicorn meat. Help!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have a woman in your life? If so I'd have to recommend these pens - they're sure to please!

      *snicker snicker*

      Delete

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