Jul 21, 2011

Everyone likes... BUTTS?

I know, right?

But look! I have the views to prove it:

Disregarding the time I tagged semi-famous people in Facebook photos and linked them to my blog, "Butts" is my most popular post ever. This is obviously a subtle hint at the big break that will one day make me internet-famous! *sarcasm hand* I need to use more shocking, mildly disturbing post titles.

Suggestions, anyone?

Bonus points if you can create a sensational title or headline using one of the following words/phrases!
  • Pineapple
  • Skadoosh
  • Skittles (who doesn't love skittles?)
  • Funkydiscombooblegum
  • Thumb wars
  • "How to destroy the perfect _____________"
  • O.C.S.A.Y.D.
  • Sleepophone
  • Pocket Lint
  • Angry potatoes

In other news...

Am I really that dull?
My blog stats have told me something. (I'm a stat-whisperer; it's like speaking Parseltongue but with more binary.) People frolic happily across my blog only to leave when they find my repulsively boring "About" page. I've got to do something about that — what do you guys want to know about me? (Nothing too stalkerish, kay? Kay.)

About those crazy things I draw:
FAQ has a NEW entry! (Where "NEW" is defined as "more recent than my last fossil of a post.") I'd like to introduce you all to the FAQmonster. He smells of ignorance and curiosity and has a body the texture of cornstarch mixed with pancake syrup. Please feed him, preferably before he eats any of my more questionable (see what I did there?) post drafts.

This is eerily appropriate...
The winning post idea on my reader's poll was "A History of Procrastination." Meanwhile, I disappeared for over three weeks. Haven't blogged; haven't read blogs; haven't commented on blogs. Mostly this was because I felt guilty about not posting on mine and it snowballed and now Google Reader has 579 647 678 unread items. But wait — I have excuses!
  1. I started work. (My summer job involves getting exercise, presents and a major sock tan. JEALOUS, right?)
  2. I became hopelessly addicted to Google+.
  3. I got my driver's license! STAY OFF THE ROADS! Just kidding; I don't have a car! My parents went out of town and left me one for the week? WHAT? Ohmygosh. I can go anywhere! Run errands! Drive to work even though biking is faster! What should I do? o.O [Car remains parked in street, doing nothing.]
  4. I'm a chronic procrastinator; deal with it.
I'm going to spend the next couple days reading blogs, keeping up with comments and stalking my readers and fellow bloggers on Google+. Then I'll get started on that historical procrastination anecdote. I can't promise it will be the next thing I post, but I will be working on it.

Don't forget to send me post titles! The crazier the better — I might write a whole post as an excuse to use it!


  1. Is That a Pineapple in Your Wheelbarrow or are you Just Happy to See Me?

    That is my post title suggestion.

  2. This is just a thought, but funkydiscombooblegum seems like a pretty sensational title already. I'm intrigued...

  3. Post title suggestion is a no brainer, and one THAT will, no doubtly, offend someone, somewhere but, it is not my intention. I mean only to be humorous. Here goes nothing.

    "I Put The Douche, In Skadoosh."

    Me, being an aficionado of anything and everything Kung Fu Panda, and not to mention my "WeeklybutnotreallymorelikewheneverIfeellikeit" installments of what I have dubbed, "Wushi Finger Wednesday."
    I would like to see what you come up with.

  4. @Shelyn: "Funkydiscombooblegum" was the title of a song I learned once as a kid. Maybe I'll go into it sometime!

    @Jay, @IB: Wow, you've both got the insanity-gears turning in my head already! I'll see what I can do - I've got some ideas down in my notebook from these already... but then again, I have a LOT of ideas in my notebooks. >.<

    Keep those suggestions coming, everyone!

  5. LOL, I read the post title and I just HAD to read this :P
    Hmm I can't come up with any good suggestions :/
    CONGRATS on the driver's liscence! :D
    Seems like you're addicted to Google+, I actually haven't tried it out yet.

  6. Oh and the FAQ monster drawing is so cool! You should draw more stuff like that and post it on here :D What software do you use?

  7. Haha love your blog :)
    When life gives you angry potatoes...

  8. hey thinkEllen! congrats on being one of the top 3 scorers for the month of august! will you email your mailing address to thingamajigblog at gmail.com so that i can send you a prize?

  9. Thanks everyone! (And many apologies for my absence.)

    @Purplemist, I've answered your question over at the FAQ page.

    I like your suggestion @Okbernadette! Maybe I'll find somewhere to use it in the future...

  10. Yay for butts!

    And yeah, odd readers make the best readers. The three top posts for me involve meth, funny names for a female's hoo-ha, and the phrase "F*ck yeah"

    Go fig...

    1. Odd readers are great!

      Odd weirdos who stumble across my blog by chance looking for butt pr0n? ...not so great. >.<

  11. I love your blog so much! It's so you and so real! I can relate with ur posts esp procastination is history. Keep it up girl!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...